A six-month review of life, nine months in

I meant to publish this on May 8th since that was actually our six-month landmark in our trek through the wilderness of marriage. But life called me elsewhere, so I am posting it now.

We have a couple of elderly neighbors who've been married for decades - we'll call them the F's.
Mr. F likes to tell us that, "the key to success is consistency of purpose." Usually he's talking about our young careers, but I think it also describes what it takes to stay married.

Nine months in, there is of course still a lot to conquer. We're cautiously groping around financially  and reaching out into uncharted waters career-wise, while figuring out what having faith in the promise we've made each other looks and feels like.

But right now is also an AMAZING ride. It's just the two of us, free as we'll ever be.

We're creating a loving home built on trust and shared experiences with the purpose of growing together until we're even older than Mr. and Mrs. F next door. My Instagram account is pretty good at tracking it.

This post is a two-part look into what we've found out about life since taking the plunge last November.

Part I

Roses(good) and Thorns(ouch)

Dating

• Regular hikes in the woods near our home
• Co-mowing our postage stamp-sized lawn with a teeny push mower
• Just finding joy in the small stuff (like mowing)
• Double dates with new friends/couples
• We haven't had the opportunity to travel much beyond the city, and have embraced our Hobbit side to cope. Second breakfast anyone?
• Cody often has engagements in the evening and I have been working some weekends, so it's hard to nail down times to purposefully do something, like camp!

at Home

• Creating and sticking to real meal plans based on whole foods that we both seem to like eating (this saves money and you don't waste anything)
• I love it when Cody can come grocery shopping with me, anything is a date :)
• Somehow we both end up cleaning the kitchen every night with a record on 
• Reading books out loud before bed, right now it's The Once and Future King by T.H. White
• Both of us have a history of exploding our belongings in our personal space. Now that we share a  home, we have to make an effort to keep it neat. Even if it's not a natural trait we have.

staying Spiritual

• We've been going through the devotional, Jesus Calling most mornings. I got it over the holidays and it's been the perfect balm whenever we're anxious, and has helped establish a stronger connection to what we believe in through routine
• Writing verses and quotes we find inspirational on the white board in the kitchen.
• It's been hard sticking with a church because we can't seem to find one that fits us yet. 

Our mini-vacation to KY for a great friend's wedding last month

Part II
One of my best friends was with us in early May for a few weeks before leaving to travel the world, and quizzed us on how we've faired these first six months. (Thanks for transcribing H!) P.S. Cody's answers are SO much better.

Q=question
A=Ann
C=Cody

Q: What's been your favorite thing about being married?

A: Constant love & companionship with my best friend.  Who sometimes does the dishes.

C: How much more real everything is.  When you're dating, there's always this "what if" hanging in the back of your mind, but when you're married, the what if disappears, and there's a greater sense of security to move forward in your lives together.

Q: What's the hardest thing about being married that you didn't expect?

A: You get very busy with life in general, and just remembering to slow down, "date" and make time to have fun outside of the house.

C: Everything is more real.  My best friend told me that when you date someone, it's like taking a journey by car.  When when you're married, it's like taking a journey by foot.  When you're driving, everything passes by, you can see the beautiful landscapes, but you can't actually stop and smell the flowers.  And you can drive through a storm in just a few seconds.  But when you're on foot, you get drenched to the bone and it feels like you'll never get out of it.  

Q: What have you come to admire about your own parents' marriage now that you're married yourselves?

A: I appreciate my parent's marriage.  Their ability to still laugh at each other and with each other after 30+ years.  It's taught me to be quick to laugh.  Life's brick walls and obstacles can get you down really quickly.  And to be quick to forgive.  And to not retaliate even if I want to.

C: I've always admired the relationship my parents have because no matter how tough the situation may be at work or at home or with kids or with family, they still take time with each other, and in the simplest ways, rejuvenate their relationship.  

Q: What specific piece of marriage advice have you come to cherish most?  And who gave it to you?

A: My dad.  He said "Have a short memory.  Especially if you have a short fuse."

C: The house trumpet player at the Elephant Room in Austin, TX on the night of my bachelor party: Do one nice thing for your wife each week.  Even if she doesn't notice.

A: Is there anything you just HAVE to add?

C: Marriage is the best decision I ever made.

A: *smirks* You say that all the time.  It's not a revelation you just stumbled upon.

C: I'm counting it as one of my many blessings.

I think we're settling in pretty well :)